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Being Girl is not a Crime

Posted July 30, 2016 from Pakistan
I am a student at Zephaniah Free Education. I am going to tell you a story which is about one of my friends. Whenever I think about this incident, it makes me cry and its really tough for me to write about this but through writing, I want to ask this question to whole world that why being a girl has been perceived a burden and a bad thing?

Her name was Ayesha. She was my class fellow in school. We were good friends but then suddenly she left school because her parents fixed her marriage. According to them, they found best spouse for her because he was working abroad and earning good and they don’t want to miss his proposal. My friend did whatever her parents asked and got married. After marriage, her husband said that he will go back to work but he can’t take her with him because he can’t afford to take her with him. This was very hurting for my friend because living without husband after marriage is such a pain but she agreed to live with her in-laws. She fell in love with her husband like any normal girl so she made her mind that she will follow whatever he will ask her to do. And further she was well aware that she has no option of going back to her parent’s home because according to our culture, divorce is really a shameful thing for any woman. She is advised to stay at her husband’s home whatever the situation might be.

My friend got pregnant and after one week of her pregnancy, her husband gone back to work and her tough days just started. Her mother in law made her life worse. She started beating her for little things like washing clothes, ironing them, washing dishes or cooking. My friend was not skilled in house chores because she got married t the age of 16 so she required time to adjust with such responsibilities. Further she was pregnant so it was being so tough to manage this situation for her. She was not allowed to meet her parents. She was not allowed to talk her husband on phone alone. Even she did not have personal mobile phone. Her husband always called on his mother’s mobile and if my friend tried to talk him. There is always someone with her. So she never could inform him about his bad situation at his home. Her mother-in-law kept telling her son that your wife is good for nothing, she can’t do anything better for our family. Time kept passing.

And after 10 months of her marriage she gave birth to a baby girl. But her in-laws refused to accept her daughter and they demanded her to kill this baby because they wanted a son and they have nothing for a daughter. Ayesha started crying so hard and she requested them to take her daughter to their home. Then they agreed on one condition that this baby will not ask for anything from them ever. Her husband came back and when he knew that he is a father of a daughter, he also got embarrassed and refused to even touch his baby girl. He ignored her wife because of giving birth to a girl. She cried a lot in front of him but he said that she has done nothing for him and his family. Her life became miserable.

She again got pregnant and started hoping that may be this time, God give her a son and her life may get better. She was happy being pregnant. Her husband again gone back and again old routine started. There was no change in her mother-in-law behavior. But she tried to give her best and then she has learned to manage house chores so she wanted that there may be no complain about her. But all in vein because they never respected her, they treat her daughter so badly and never loved her.

Then she gave birth to baby boy and her in-laws became so happy. They thrown a big party on his birth and distribute food to poor. Ayesha’s daughter noticed all this and asked her mother that why I don’t receive such kind of love from her grandparents or her father. She replied her that I love you more than anyone my daughter, you do not need to worry. From childhood, they started biasness and they kept it always but both of them managed to bear all this and kept silence.

But then one day Ayesha’s husband did second marriage and he said that he is not happy with his 1st wife. She cried a lot and fought him. She said that she has sacrificed everything for him and he did this to her. But there was nobody to support her because they think that it’s a right of men to marry whenever they want and woman should adjust somehow. But this thing broke my friend so badly and she asked for divorce. Her husband refused to divorce her because he said that he cannot live without his son and he will not allow her to take his son with her. He kept beating her because she said that she will report to court for his and his parent’s misbehave with her and her daughter. Her husband got so angry after listening this. He brought patrol and burned his wife and his daughter. When they both were screaming, he kept saying “now go and report to court, I want to see that how you will go.” They both died.

There was no police complain of this case because they said that Ayesha burned herself and her daughter. There was no one in Ayesha’s family who may follow the case because they were disconnected with her from the day of marriage as they were not allowed to meet their daughter.

Now Ayesha’s mother cries so much whenever she meets me or any of her friends. She said that she killed her daughter by not educating her, by marrying her so early, by not telling her rights being someone’s wife, by not allowing her to come back to her parent’s home. And I agreed with her. I want to request every parent to educate your daughter and please do not take them as burden. She can be your support if you allow them and by supporting you, they learn to support themselves and society too. Early marriage is a worse than killing her at the time of birth. Raise your daughters like strong ladies, not like miserable creation. Do not let them to think that being a girl is a big crime; rather give them more love than sons. Your confidence on them can take them to heights of this world. Just believe them. !!!

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