Posted to Sister Zeph’s Journal
By Sister Zeph
On 24 October, 2013
Ghazalla is about 40 years old lady, she was born in a peace loving and decent family, they got her education till 8 standard, she learnt to do crochet, she can make so beautiful artistic pieces with crochet.
She could not keep studying as there was no high school situated near to her village. So when she crossed 20th year of her life, her parents decided to get her married, so they started looking for a suitable boy, her elders sister married to a highly educated man and of course her parents wanted to have a well settled man for her too.
They struggled so much, they asked to so many people to get support in this matter, But they could not find a good man, A lot of families came to select her for their son, But every time she was rejected, Sometimes it made her feel very insulting and humiliating, she did not want to get married now, but it was her completion to do it , as this is tradition and had to be married, so every time she showcased herself in front of every party , with this hope that may be this time she will be liked by them.
Then her father decided to go to a far away village, He went there and found a boy , who was 30 years old, but was still unmarried, because of his ugliness, He did not have his own house nor job, Her mother and sisters were dishwashers in a bungalow, so he was still fed by them.
But Ghazalla’s father was now tired and he decided to let them get married, When she arrived to her Husband after her marriage, She felt like she was in the arms of a monkey, he was stinking even on wedding night he was drunk and he took a bit on her chick, the sign of that night’s wound is still visible on her face, but no one can see her wounded heart.
Next day when she went back to her home, Her mother looked at her face and said very humbly, that we tried a lot to find a good boy for you, but we could not because you are not beautiful like your sister, So you did not deserve an educated and a decent Husband, and we have to do it because if we will die where you will live without a man?
At that moment, she felt like she was dead in her heart. She wanted to run away but could, she wanted to cry but could not, and she wanted to shout but could not.
She wanted to ask the world what was her mistake, but she felt everyone was blind and deaf and dumb.
So she decided to live with that man, Now she has four kids, she is working in two bungalows as a dishwasher, With her Struggle she made a mud house that was collapsed in this rainy season , Now she is homeless again. Her sons are like their father, she tried her level’s best but they did not get education, her elder daughter is learning stitching and hair cutting in my learning center, her younger daughter is studying in my school. And she want them to be highly educated and skilled, she want them to take a decision of their lives themselves.
She says, her life is like a hell, there is no hope and satisfaction in her heart, she just has been struggling for food and will keep doing till her death and this is her life.
Her life is this much difficult just because her color was not fair, she was not that much physically attractive, this is a story of many women in our world, but question is that, why only women have to look good? And why they have to look good physically and why they have to attract a man for a safe and good future, why their happiness and successful life depends on a man? Why we think that a husband and wife have only a physical relationship and we ignore the importance of their mutual understand, respect for each other, and love for each other’s feelings, thinking and necessities.
Why we make our innocent people’s lives like hell just because they are not physically attractive?
How is it possible that if a girl’s appearance is not beautiful, she does not deserve love, satisfaction, and comfort and respect in life? How we can be so cruel?