Posted to Sister Zeph’s Journal
By Sister Zeph
On 27 March, 2013
Habiba is in 3rd standard student at Zephaniah free school. Today when I reached to school from office I saw she was crying so loud. I went to her and asked her very politely that why she was crying. She did not speak I took her in my lap and asked her again. She said she was missing her mom. At this point I was helpless because it was not possible for me to bring her mom. Not because she was dead but because she was thrown out of home by her husband, reason is very simple that is being faced by most of the women in Pakistani society The man wants son but the lady has produced eight girls that in husband’s point of view is a fault of the wife who wants to stop making kids because she is tired of this now. The man brings his girl friend at home and the lady cannot stop him to bring his girl friend to the bedroom, if she will do this she will lose a right to live in husband’s home. He beats his wife with the sticks any time when he wants and if she will cry on injury it will be her fault again. He does not bringing milk for the youngest daughter because he wants her to die due to hunger because girls are useless for him. That lady has lost her parents she was an only sister, now no one is to live with her. She did not bring her kids with her. These children do not have food to eat, no good cloths not school bags. And they are so much scared, elder sister stopped going to school because she has to look after younger sisters. In my life time whenever I heard from a girl about her ideal husband she dreams to have a loving husband, Yes it is understood that every human being wants to be loved, but on other hands it also shows that this thing is in women’s subconscious that if she will be lucky her husband will love her and he will be faithful with her. so this is her dream to be loved by him. As a citizen of the third world I feel most of the violence against women is from her own home. I know a girls who was my elder sister’s friend, She was cut into pieces by her own brother and what was her sin she was in love with a boy. Her brother was in Jail for some time but later he was release because in the Court it was not proofed and no one followed the case as it was correct in the eyes of eye witness what he did, even women of our village and his family thought it was a correct action. The only unforgivable thing for women here is that she wants to live a life of her own choice. One day I was talking to a very educated man a foreign qualified , He said it is good to ask a girl before deciding her spouse that she is agreed or not. But it is not fair to let her meet him or speak to him before marriage. How fool it is, how she will decide either he is a good choice for her or not without knowing him, or the only way to know someone is to talk and meet each other. A girl who is a student in my school she is doing her bachelor’s in Arts. When I tried to take her photo she denied and when I asked she said it is not allowed in my family, last month her elder sister got married and her brothers did not allow taking a photo on her own wedding, her in-laws were told thi s before time. And on breaking this rule they would have gone back home without taking bride with them. I always feel that the women of my society are hungry for love and when they found it they can die for it. Because since the day of the birth men of their family try to protect them from other men they do not love them. Giving protection can be a form of love but it does not mean to put someone in a home like a jail. Because jail is for punishment not for protection and it is not a crime to be a woman.