zeph Girl’s Diary Part: 6

Posted June 14, 2016 from Pakistan
One day my father brought a woman and her 3 kids at our home. We didn’t know her but dad said that we have to take care of her comfort. We did that but whenever we demanded anything from dad, he just insulted us in front of that woman and we felt so ashamed, because whenever dad scolded us, she kept laughing. Once I asked money for a notebook and dad refused to give me money for that. At the same time, that woman’s son asked for money to buy snacks, dad gave it with smile. Then she said, give the money for notebook to this poor girl also and she laughed. I felt so insulted and I said in anger that I am not begging for money and I will ask to Sister Zeph for notebook, she will provide me whatever I need. She is my elder sister and more important than blood relations because she takes care of me.

After 2 days of her coming, I asked to dad that who is she and why she is staying this long at our home? He said that mind your own business, this does not relate to you and this is my home. I will bring whoever I want and I will kick out whoever I want. If you have questions, you can leave this home with your mother.

I just got scared with his tone and decided to ask that woman, she told me that you are going to be my daughter because your father is about to marry me within some days. This news was like a bomb for me. I called grandmother and asked for help. And first time in life, Grandmother fought with dad and ordered that woman to leave our home. She left but dad beaten me so much. He just stopped giving us money for food and for the milk of younger sister. We starved for 2 days and I did not go to center too. I was so stressed and I didn’t want to give my stress to Sister Zeph because she can read my face whether I tell her my problems or not. And I was feeling hesitation for asking money from her because she is doing a job and running center at the same time. Her health is also suffering with many problems, still she is doing so much for girls like me, and it’s her struggle that I am in college now so I tried to be at home those days and fought with my life alone. I remember that time when I was so in 7th standard and I was so weak that I could not learn the lesson even and sister Zeph started giving me a glass of milk and fruits on daily basis and my health became good but I did not want to be burden on her anymore.

That was the horrible time of our life because dad abused us whenever he is at home. If we ask for single penny, he denied to give that and said that he has no concern with our lives. Then I heard good news that sister Zeph started construction of center, I went there and congratulate her because I know it was like a dream coming true for her. Now girls may have a proper place for sitting and reading. I saw her so happy that day. I asked her to take rest because there was a lot of pain in her shoulders but she said that I have to be with workers all the time to instruct them as I don’t want any mistake in construction work. I got so inspired by her will power and love for education. Because of her, I knew the meaning of true love and I have learnt that love is not bound to blood relations, it’s when someone takes care of you and sister Zeph takes care of me more than anyone else.

In the evening, when construction workers left for home, she noticed my silence and sadness and asked what happened? First I said nothing but when she insisted, I told everything to her and cried a lot. After crying in front of her, I felt so light because she hugged me and asked for a promise that I will never hide any problem from her ever, I promised her that whatever problem comes in my way, I will tell her. From that day, our relation became even stronger.

Then my year exams for intermediate started and dad ordered me to wear an Abaya while going to examination center. I asked him to give me money to buy abaya He refused to give money to buy the cloth for Abaya but he said that I don’t know how you will manage but if you can’t cover yourself while going out, then no need to sit in exams. I became so worried and informed sister Zeph about his conditions for exams. She said that no need to worry, I will give you money for this but you will sit in exams for sure and nothing can stop you to get education. I felt so encouraged that moment and I promised myself that I will work so hard and will not disappoint sister Zeph because she trusts me a lot.

I started covering myself but dad was still not happy. My cousins got jealous of me and they pumped my dad all the time and say that you should stop her education, what she will do with after getting education. Now you must make arrangements for her marriage. This thing kept scaring me and I was not able to concentrate completely towards my exams.

One day dad said that some guests are coming in the evening, he also ordered me to wear nice clothes and make good food for them. He insisted that food must be made by me. I had some doubt that there may be some kind of marriage proposal but I kept silence and did whatever dad said. The guests came in the evening and dad forced me to serve them dinner. I became so angry inside but obeyed his order. After having dinner, I was sitting with one of the guests; there was a girl of my age to with them. So I asked her the purpose of their arrival at our home. She said that we are here to choose you as bride for my brother and we really like you. I said nothing to her but when they gone, I asked dad that why he did this? He said that if you and your mother want easy lives, you all have to obey me in every condition. I felt that I have lost the purpose of my life. I said to dad that I will not leave my education for marriage or any other thing. Marriage can wait; I am too young for being in this relation and carrying such tough responsibilities of husband, in-laws and kids. He started beating me and said that I have lost the sense how to talk in front of father. He stopped talking with me and one day he packed his bag and left home without informing us anything about where he was going. He did not give us money for food or anything. Then after he left, my mother started sewing clothes of people and earning a bit for our food. But we could not manage for food daily, most of the time we kept starving.

Dad came home after 20 days. We saw a huge fight between mom and dad and they both left home and us alone. Mom gone to her brother’s home and we had no idea where he went. They even left my 8 months old brother with me. I brought him at center when I went there to attend class. Those days, Malee Kenworthy (Sister Zeph’s Friend form America) was in Pakistan. She asked why I have brought my brother with me because he was disturbing and crying while we were attending art class with Malee. Sister zeph told her about my problem that I can’t leave my brother at home because there is no one to take care of him. She felt so pained after listening it and gave me $20 for expenses. But when I went back at home, I saw that my mother has come and I got to know that a mother’s love is limitless because she could not live without us. I felt so happy and gave her the money received by Malee.

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